Well, we got introduced to our host families today. My first impression is that I’m somewhat disappointed. On the one hand, my family is quite obviously extremely well-off. They live right in the middle of Sidi Bou Said (a famous well-to-do neighborhood here) only a couple of doors down from the ambassador’s house. Their house is typical Sidi Bou Said: white-washed with blue shutters and huge. Janice-- the other girl on my program—and myself have almost the entire bottom floor, which consists of a room for us to share, a bathroom, a huge patio, and the maid’s room (yes, they have a maid). There are also two other floors, plus a rooftop which has a breathtaking view of Sidi Bou Said.
Anyway, the reason that I am somewhat disappointed is because although I definitely wanted some degree of independence, I can tell already that we are not going to interact with the family very much at all. My host sister was late picking us up, fed us reheated (albeit home-made) pizza for lunch, and is already gone again. She explained that she and her father leave early in the morning, are gone the whole day, and only occasionally return for dinner. She and her mother will also be gone for an entire week sometime soon. Basically, we’re supposed to do whatever we want, whenever we want. I think we’re also expected to make all of our own food too.
On top of that, they rarely speak in Arabic. The mother basically speaks all French, and my host sister spoke to us a little bit in Arabic, but about 95% of what she said was in English, and when we tried to speak to her in Arabic, she replied in English.
Like I said, on some level the independence is nice. When I heard that we were going to be living in homestays, I was terrified that I would be holed up in my house all day, every day, and that I wouldn’t be able to go out because I’m female. I was also worried about not getting any privacy, about being forced to eat way too much, and about not having any time to do school work because of spending so much time socializing with the family. So I can definitely see the benefits of my current situation.
On the other hand, I had gotten myself used to the idea of a homestay, and from what I heard from the people who did them last year, it’s something from which you can really gain a lot. I was looking forward to being forced to rely on Arabic—not French or English—to have my needs met and to communicate with my host family. I know that my Arabic will improve much quicker that way, and it will be connected to interesting memories.
I also really wanted to be exposed to a more middle-class Tunisian lifestyle that isn’t basically a reproduction of the typical Western lifestyle (i.e. that of my host family). How else am I supposed to get an accurate sense of non-Western Tunisians? If my family doesn’t even eat together, how can I learn the proper expressions and customs? And finally, they discussed going on trips with your family during our orientation. This family doesn’t seem like the type to go on trips, let alone to take us with them.
Okay, so perhaps some of this disappointment is premature. I can definitely be a pessimist sometimes. Tomorrow, I think I’m going to talk to the head of our program to see if she can do anything (ask the family members to only speak in Arabic around us, to plan one or two family dinners each week, etc.). If anyone has any suggestions either about what could be done about the family or other ways that I can really experience and integrate myself into the different aspects and varieties of Tunisian culture, I would appreciate hearing them.
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